Ninjas, and Trucks, and Hairnets: Oh My!
by Lapulta J.R.R. Cahill
Summary: There's a month to go till Halloween and Dan - being the kid he is - sends in box tops for a mysterious ring. After he receives his prize, strange happenings begin... Can Dan keep out of trouble enough to be a ninja for Halloween?


**This is not a drabble. No matter how much it may look like a drabble, it is not a drabble. Drabbles bore me, and how can you write a good story when you're bored?**

**Precisely.**

**This is for Halloween. Just as I did one for Christmas last year, (Dearest Santa) I shall now try my hand at Halloween. Perhaps I'll do Thanksgiving too, but that's just asking a little too much out of me. ****¿**_**Verdad**_**?**

**Por favor, leen y *****review* ustedes. (Anyone know what's the Spanish word for 'review'?)**

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><p><strong>Ninjas, and Trucks, and Hairnets; Oh, my!<strong>

**Chapter One;  
>The Ring<strong>

This was outragious! This was an atrocity; an odious, foul, rising bollard of misery!

He was sitting in line for PB & J, stuck between the one lunch lady who hated him, and the biggest bully in class. Just like he'd been yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and two days before _that_. It was a conspiracy. The world was striving to make him starve.

Dan scowled, feeling his cereal-box ninja ring rubbing up against his finger. It had taken him two weeks to finish off the vile Raisin Bran Crunch - that tasted like sawdust - and send in for the prize, but it was _so_ worth it. It was worn metal that looked a gazillion years old with a weird, Latin enscription on it that was supposed to - the box said so; Dan wasn't certain about people reading Latin when they barely knew English - read; 'Ninjas forever'. He also wasn't that positive about people in the way-back-when Middle Ages knowing the Latin word for 'Ninja'; but he didn't care. It was an awesome old ring that would probably make the newest au pair faint when he saw her again.

And that would be a vision to see.

Dan took a step forward after the Asian kid in front of him got his sandwich. The lunch lady scowled down with an utterly mean expression at the next person in line, which happened to be him. Dan swallowed; he daily wished that she'd be fired, but unfortunately, that hadn't happened yet. Perhaps there was some way...

"Speak up, kid. Rye, wheat, or white bread."

It wasn't even a question. Dan wondered if you could make a three-tier sandwich with rye, wheat, and white bread in that succession; one layer with jelly, one with PB. "White."

"What?"

She was deaf too. How come she always seemed to hear what the other kids said and not him? "I said; _white_!"

The lady scowled harder, grunted, pulled out two pieces of white bread and started to make the sandwich.

The boy behind him snickered and poked Dan in the back. "Yeah, runt? Green, purple, or blue?"

"Leave me alone, creep."

"Awww," Dan clenched his teeth and seethed as he pictured Ryan's baby-eyes face. "Wittle Dwanny-bwoy wants to be weft awone. Pwoor, pwoor, Dwanny-bwoy..."

"You do that again and I _will_ punch you." Dan glanced at the lady. She seemed to be making his sandwich at the lowest speed rate possible.

"Sweet, man. I haven't gotten a detention in a while. I want to go fishing again." Ryan poked his back again. "You never told me anyway; green, purple, or blue?"

"Blue what?"

"Bruise." Ryan snickered. "I can give you a red one, too."

"Thanks, but I'll pass." Dan's heart pounded - one for every second. The lady was smearing the jelly now...

Ryan shoved him from behind now, harder. Dan clenched his teeth. "I can give you something else."

"Like what?"

"A wedgie-bear. It's just like a huggley-me-bear, but better."

"No thanks." The lady placed the sandwich on the top of the glass. Dan reached up, grabbed it, and shoved his dollar fifty behind the glass; he hoped one of the quarters got lost as it fell and the lady had to go searching for it.

Then he was outta there.

Dan searched for the table that had all his friends sitting around it. It was in the far left corner of the room - rather away from all the other tables. They'd unofficially made it their headquarters. Most of the matters in school were discussed there - as well as events outside school, such as birthday parties, and field trips, and holidays. Unnoticed by the rest of the school and the female population, the table also inhabited a slight aura of girls.

Girls had been the number one topic all year; Dan kept track. Hot girls, thin girl, sweet girls, nice girls; girls who were fat, girls who were stupid - guys who were stupid, as well - girls who were good at sports - those never went without notice - and most of all; girls who knew how to get homework done. Dan, unfortunately, was at the main brunt of that, thanks to the geek Amy was. Lucky for him, none of 'the guys' - as they called themselves - were old enough to date her. That would've been just... awkward.

"_Dude_..." Dan glanced at Albert, a rather funky looking kid with big, round, owl-glasses and a teenie nose that barely managed to support them. He was forever pushing his glasses up, making him look like a college professor stuck in a eleven-year-old's body.

"Yeah, what?"

"What's the ring for?" It was no longer Albert, but Edvine, who had taken up the question. Dan had often wondered what parent named their kid Edvine. Maybe it was for his round-ish-ness. The guy was awesome at sports, but couldn't really fit through a door to save his life. If anyone mentioned it though, he could - and would - punch them all the way into next week.

Dan plunked down at the table and unwrapped his sandwich. He checked to make sure there was no marajana or crack in it first; from the way that lunch lady did things, she could be addicting his whole school before he knew it. Satisfied there were no drugs in his PB & J, he took a bite. It wasn't bad, actually. "Wha wing?"

Theo glanced at him from across the table. He was the 'unofficial' leader of the group. Every year they held an 'unofficial' election and voted in a 'dude' that then ruled for the school year. It was more of a democracy - each kid had his say - but Theo-the-Great had the final word. Maybe him being leader of the chess club, being voted 'the-Great' three times in a row, being the fairest kid in school, and having sandy brown hair had something to do with it too, but Dan couldn't put it his finger on it. You never could when you had a kid like Theo around. "Swallow and repeat, dude. And what's this about a ring?"

Dan swallowed. "Got it from four box tops. I ate Raisin Bran Crunch for two weeks to get it."

All the boys, excluding Dan, instantly made fake puking and gagging sounds. They spoke as one voice. "_Dude! _You actually _ate_ that stuff? That stuff makes you puke! Makes me _fart_! How many _boxes_ did you eat? Did you throw up the raisins?"

The kids at the nearest table shot them shut-up looks.

Dan took off the ring and let it be passed around. "There were two box tops on each box, so I technically had to eat two. They only had one, and the quickest kid to send in four got it." Dan grinned, pumping his chest out like a proud papa peacock. "I had two saved up."

There were awesometastic fist bumps all around the table. Albert took the ring though and held it up to the light. He stared at it for a long second through his unblinking, owl-like eyes until bringing it down and staring at it some more. "It says; 1502."

Instantly there was more chaos and everyone, even Theo, wanted to get a look at the ancient words. Everyone stared over Albert's shoulder.

"There's more. The words say: Long live the Genii."

"Genii?" Dan snorted. "They said on the box that it was Latin, and said: 'Ninjas forever'."

Albert shrugged, making wide-eyed stares go around the table; everyone knew Albert was the geek of the group. He was relied on for all useful, but technically boring information - such as what was on tests, and homework, and quizes. "No, it's Mongolian. I'd know that print anywhere. They use a form of Cryllic, or Uigar."

"That sounds like a kind of puke," Edvine giggled.

Theo glared at him. "Let Bert talk."

"I don't think this is a cereal-box ring," he handed it back to Dan. "I don't know. We might have stumbled on something big."

Edvine rolled his eyes. "Yeah - like the latter-day Indiana Jones." Theo snatched his cookie, broke off half, and gave the half left back to him. Edvine glared at him. "What was that for?"

"Shut up. If Al has a good idea of something, Vinnie, there's a chance he's right."

Dan had to nod, becoming serious. "We might be onto something; the next mutant alien invasion, perhaps."

He, Edvine, and Albert broke into laughter; Theo didn't even crack a smile. "Hardy-har-har. Start eating; enough of the ring. If we don't get to class in ten minutes we're screwed."

As the boys calmed down enough to think about what he said, they realized he was right, and they started scooping up their pudding and eating their cookies. Dan scraped off the peanut butter that had stuck to the roof of his mouth with a rather-dirtish fingernail.

Albert pushed up his glasses as he watched Dan. "You know that's non-hygenic, right?"

"Hydraphobic?"

"No, hygenic." Only Dan's friends were used to his lame crack-ups. He was the comedian of the group, and they relied on him for a bit of well-rounded humor and teacher delays - ways to make the teacher forget to give out homework. "Your fingernail's filthy, and you're eating that."

Dan shrugged. "If there's anything unhealthy in it, it'll come out sooner or later."

Albert shrugged as well as the four boys gathered up their backpacks to start on the treck to class; Dan was right - somewhat. "Can I come over later? I just figured out how to pass the fifth level of Ninjas Unleashed. The sixth level is totally _mind-blowing_. Seriously, man."

The customary grin that was expected came with full relish. "_Dude_..."

Albert grinned back - being a dork didn't mean you could be less of a ninja-freak. "And you know the best part?"

"I'm scared to find out."

"I figured out how to hack my main computer from anywhere on the globe with my laptop. We can play the game from Russia if we want. Einstein Park; five o'clock."

Dan's mind, of course, could barely comprehend the extreme fortune of good luck. He did an Irish jig all the way to Math Class, giving the new ring five kisses on the way.

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><p><strong>So, how horrendous was it?<strong>

**Tell me in a review - I'm curious. ;D**

**~L~**


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